Sometimes it just has the funniest lines ever.

Tonight, Ashley comes home from the hospital after having the snip. He limps into the house, and the young boy comes running up to him, dressed in a costume. His wife follows.

“We’re going Trick or treating,” she says.

“And what are you dressed as,” Ashley ask, “Are you a zombie?”

“No,” replies the boy, “I’m a ghoulie!”

I have been looking at Amazon, adding lots of things to my ‘favourites’ having already been asked what I want for Christmas, and I came across this under an audio book.

Yes, that is telling me how many pages are in my audio book.

And I particularly like the spelling mistake at the bottom. I don’t know if it was mis-spelled in the original, or just mis-typed for this description.

I didn’t add it to my wishlist!

D’s got cancer.

Had cancer removed?

Might have cancer?

I guess we don’t actually know at the moment. He had a testicle removed two weeks ago, and got the biopsy results today to say it was cancerous. He has a CT scan next week, where they will know more about whether it has spread or if they have actually removed it all.

Fuck it.

Feeling sad? A little lonely? Sorry for yourself? Need someone to listen to you?

Ring me.

Everyone else does!

I can’t believe it’s so long since I last wrote anything.

I’ve had a job interview - but still not heard anything. They promised to get back to me the end of the week before last - not sure if this is good or bad. Or somewhere in between.

Job is a nightmare. The Stupid Bitch took on a new contractor - he started last Monday, when she was off on a course the whole week, leaving yours truly doing her job of sorting out all his admin stuff, and showing him the ropes. Although, and part of this is good but most of it is bad, he has worked there before. He used to work for my company, left 3 years ago. But this means he thinks he knows how everything works, and doesn’t bother to read instructions, and ignores any he thinks don’t matter. So he is actually quite dangerous. I am off work this week, so god knows what I will get back to next week.

Biggest news is D. I knew he had found a lump (yes, in the unmentionables), and that he had been for the scans and was told it wasn’t a problem. They would remove it, but there was no urgency. Three weeks ago he was here in Torchwood Town for work, we met up for dinner on the Monday, but rest of the time he was busy with work. He left here Thursday night, to find a letter waiting for him, asking him to go and see the specialist. Friday morning.

Specialist told him he was worried by one of the scans (out of the several), where, in D’s words, “It looked a bit worrying.” All of the other scans looked fine, it was only one, from one angle. However, he decided it was needed to be operated on.

So, last Monday he went in.

Apparently the doctor who operated “Was not happy with the original doctor’s diagnosis,” and has immediately ordered a CT scan, rather than waiting for the results of the biopsy.

I keep crying - I am so scared for him. And of course he is doing the bloke thing of pretending it’s not that big a thing, when I know he is shit-scared. And I am so far away I can’t even go round and annoy him so he can start shouting and screaming at me to at least vent some of his pent up distress.

He is only 31.

I am off work this week. Supposed to be sorting out the spare room, but have done nothing on it yet. I went to meet old work mates for lunch. S couldn’t come because her girlfriend has lost her job and she has spent the morning at the bank sorting out the mortgage. Q is worrying me. He has been pretty quiet for a few weeks now, and he really didn’t seem his usual chirpy self. But nothing I can do for him if he claims he is alright!

Have started my Open University course. Already I can see ‘real’ life intruding on it. I am glad I only went for one course and not two. One I can keep on top of, even with friends dropping on me for the weekend, or a last minute invite out for an evening.

Talking of friends for the weekend, LELI came to stay! He was supposed to be staying with M, but he has got a new girlfriend and was on a promise for the Saturday night, so he stayed there Friday night, then I met them for lunch Saturday and brought him back with me. It was so good to see him. I can’t believe how much I still miss him.

He is having a tough time of it too. His mum is not well, although he doesn’t talk about it other than to mention she is not well. I suspect it is cancer. He hates his job. He has just about decided to stick it out for 2 years and do a part time MBA, when out of the blue his boss rings him late on Friday night to congratulate him on his promotion to a new job - in Germany! He didn’t apply for it, doesn’t want it, but has been told if he doesn’t take it there will be nothing for him within the company.

I say he should move back here!

I am so bored at work.

Stupid Bitch is on holiday. I am doing less, and achieving more with her not being there. She is that much of a negative influence.

Sadly, gone are the days of two years ago, when it took 6 weeks from me deciding I want a new job to me handing in my notice. The job market does appear to be picking up slightly, but it is very, very slow.

On a slightly plus note, LELI is also extremely fed up with his job. And his old job is now being advertised. I sent him the link in the hopes of enticing him back. However, this is no good if I then get a job miles away!

On an even better note, LELI is paying a visit next month!

One of the contractors came over to me at lunch time.

“We are having problems updating things - we get all the way through, but right at the end we are getting a strange error message, something about permissions. I checked the permissions and they all looked fine,so I googled the message. It suggested one of the updates hasn’t been added. But I know that it has - you did it for us last month. I then went in to check what updates actually have been added, and it is saying there are none added. None at all.”

I look at him with horror. We double check it, and yes, he is right, the software believes there are no updates. I know I added 3 at the end of July, and it was all working fine then.

“And also, the ‘update’ directory isn’t there, it appears to have disappeared.”

Ohhhhhh shit.

I compare it with a working server. It’s not just the one directory, it has several sub-directories, and many files underneath that.

All gone.

“You installed that extra component the other day, would that have deleted it?”

“No. No way would adding something like that cause this sort of mayhem, not with the vendors knowing about it and sending out major warnings. Stupid Bitch spoke to them before we did the install, they’d have warned us if there was likely to be any problems.” I said this confidently, but not entirely sure that if the software company had told her she’d have either told me about it, or taken any notice of it.

I do, however, remember her talking about seeing processes pointing to the update folder when I was off sick two weeks ago, and she was having, “Such problems,” dealing with the normal shit I deal with every day.

I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. She wouldn’t have. Would she?

At this point she turns up, and I give her the gist of the problem.

“Oh yes, the update directory, that’s the place where we download the update files to and just run them from there isn’t it?”

“No. We download the files to the temporary directory, I am not entirely sure how the software processes them,” I said, with the certain knowledge that come the end of the week I am going to know intimately the process, “but I am guessing it adds files and updates files within this ‘update’ directory.”

“No,” she said, with absolute certainty, “The update directory is just for temporary files. Anyway, I am off now, I have the afternoon off, bye.” And she fucked off.

I have spent the afternoon trying to sort this problem out. Hoping that all I need to do is just reinstall the updates. But to do so I have to boot off all the users of the server, and there are many. I am casually saying, “I have no idea what happened, the directory has disappeared, we’re not sure when, or how….”

One of the users hot the nail on the head. “There are only two users who would have access to that, the installation user, which is you or Stupid Bitch, or root.” Hmmmm, yes, I know.

I still don’t know for definite, but luckily I took screen shots of everything before I even attempted any changes (to send to my company for advice, not necessarily to finger point at anyone), and it appears the parent directory was last amended late afternoon of the day I was off sick………

After trying everything, I am now looking to restore the whole thing from a backup. This will prove for definite exactly when it was deleted.

What has really pissed me off though is she must have known she had deleted it, before she buggered off home. I have spent several hours this afternoon trying to ‘figure out’ what happened, proving it to the ups when things were changed, what was added when. If she had just held her hand up we could at least say, “Hey, it was a mistake, let’s get it sorted and then figure out how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Instead, I am having to investigate dead end avenues, to show that it couldn’t possibly have happened that way.

She is fucking dangerous.

Again, really had to force myself out yesterday. But go I did. Still just once round the park - but my theory is that 30 minutes is better than 0 minutes! Managed to run for just over 4 minutes - legs still heavy, but definitely not as heavy as they were last week.

Didn’t go out today, because had to go to the homebase, and got up at stupid o’clock to drive there, and didn’t get back until almost 7.

So, tomorrow it will be!

Funny story - I try not to mention Krazy K on here, because I think she is not just crazy, I genuinely think she has a problem.

However, this is just too damn hilarious not to share. Saturday night I went round there, because her husband was away for the night, and she wanted some female company. Another friend was also going round. I thought it would be nice to make some houmous, and took it round with a big bag of tortilla chips.

However, when we came to eat it it was a little bit too stiff - the chips were breaking in it. “What can we add to make it thinner,” she asked? “Will water do it?” Both L and I suggested maybe olive oil, and we tried it in a bit but it made it to strong tasting.

“How about lemon juice,” said L, “do you have any?”

There was a pause.

“I’ve got some orange squash?”

Again, I really had to force myself out tonight. I haven’t signed up for another race - just been too many things wrong with me to commit to it - but I wish I had done now, because at least then there is a bit more motivation.

But, I decided that all I was doing was sitting either in front of the pc, or in front of a dvd, and it was only half an hour or so, so I got changed and went out.

I am definitely walking faster. But the running was harder tonight. I did just about manage the same as last night, but my legs felt very, very heavy. I might just go for a walk tomorrow, have a bit of a rest.

I haven’t stretched properly either. As I was approaching my house, this brand new Ford Fiesta starts beeping its horn at me, and I can see someone behind the wheel waving. It was my friend L! She also lives in Big Jugs, and her sister lives in one of the cul-de-sacs off my road.

She has just bought a new car - only picked it up yesterday - and took me for a brief spin around the block. Then she came in, and we had a good old gossip about work, and the new structure at the old pace I used to work at.

It was really good to see her, but it meant I didn’t cool down properly, and also I didn’t eat my dinner until late, I was starving!

Still, I am stepping in the right direction. I just need to keep it up.

I finally got off my fat arse again.

Actually, a couple of weeks ago I decided I needed to get back on my feet, and one weekend afternoon I went for a walk around the park. And then didn’t go out again.

Last Thursday I cricked my back. No idea how I did it - just walking across the office to see a collague. I suspect it’s the boots I’ve been wearing. They have been hurting my toe a lot less, but I knew I wasn’t walking right in them. And last week showed just how bad. Friday I could hardly move - sat at my desk I was ok, stood up I could just about manage, but the bits in between were agony. I was like an old woman.

It did get slowly better, and yesterday was just a dull ache in the lower left hand side.

So, last night I went out around the park. I just walked. I thought it would be a lot slower than I was doing before, but I left the house, and was back in the front door in 30 minutes. So the back didn’t slow me up one bit.

And tonight. I really didn’t want to go. I was putting it off. Had to check emails. Had to text D. Had to text L. Anything.

Eventually I forced myself to get changed, and went out.

And I am glad I did. It wasn’t brilliant. But it wasn’t bad either. I walked to the park in reasonable time, and then switched to my 2 and 3 minute playlist. And started to run. I actually managed a minute and a half, which is very good, that is what I did the last time I went out running. I was very out of breath though. And the next two runs I only managed a minute. But I was going further in that time - I got to know the places I used to run, and would gauge it by that as much as by the music. But tonight I was much further along the path for each run. So much so that for the last run the 3 minute song had only just begun.

And I feel very pleased with myself. I did 4 and a half minutes of running, once around the lake. I might aim for twice around the lake next time (tomorrow?).