Well, I got off to a start this morning.

I got up, went to the swimming pool, and managed to swim 20 lengths. I was feeling impressed with myself, as the plan was to do 10. Swimming along, all was going, well, swimmingly, until I heard this “beep, beep, beep” noise.

Bugger.

The alarm clock.

So I had to do it all again.

It was 6.15 when I crawled out of bed. It was 6.45 when I crawled into the swimming baths, paid my £2.50, and headed into the pool.

I managed 16 lengths, which given my level on (non) fitness, I am quite impressed with. I had to stop, because my shoulders and inner thighs were starting to ache (and have been getting worse during the day).

There are enough of us doing it now, so the number of lengths I have to do, on average per week, is 48. So, if I make it to the pool 3 times a week, then I should do at least that (working on the theory that 16 will be the least I do, assuming I get better, and fitter, over time).

But boy am I knackered. At around 3 o’clock this afternoon, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed. For the first time in a long time I left work on time (mind you, I did get in an hour early - I usually get in late).

Was sat at my desk this afternoon, not really paying much attention to what was going on about me. Z was at S’s desk, talking about something or other. He has a pretty loud voice, but I have been learning to tune him out.

Until, at the top of his voice, for no apparent reason he shouted, “Minge!”

I stopped. I looked at him. I looked at S. She looked at me. We both collapsed into hysterics.

“What?”, says Z. “Minge. Black. What?”

We are both hooting with laughter. I am crying. Tears are streaming down my face.

“What did I say? What?”

I can’t draw breath enough to answer him.

P is a bit more in control than me and S. “Erm, minge means, well, something you probably didn’t realise.”

“What? What does minge mean? Shall I google it?”

More screams. I am almost off my chair and rolling on the floor. A voice from the next pod comes over, “Don’t google it, Z, at least not until you get home, not unless you want security to come after you and possibly escort you off the site.”

It turns out that S was trying to remember the name of some one she had been in a meeting with last week. His name was Manjeet. Z, as with everyone, had been shortening the name, by calling him Manj. Only he also forgot the name.

But he almost got it right.

Well, what a weekend. I finally got to meet JanetyJanet - and yes, she is insane. We got on great! Unfortunately SFG and SWMBO couldn’t make it.

And of course, the star guests were - and indeed still are - KK and Ed (mine, I tell you, all mine, bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaah).

Oh, and Mosh made a minor appearance too.

And Andy too.

I even invited LELI along, although I actually think he understood not one word that was said by anyone apart from me. And thanks to all for not letting on how much you kne about him.

Of course, me being incapable of lying, when he asked how I knew these people, I let slip I have a blog. He said he would search for it. I asked him not to, I hope he doesn’t, although it is fairly well hidden now.

Much fun, and even more alcohol was consumed by all, although only JyJ and I made it to the dance floor.

The pussy cats have settled in remarkably well, although I think they are still a little wary of me. Didn’t stop Ed from sleeping on my feet all night (although I have no idea where KK slept). KK, the little sweety, was asking to go out the back door tonight. If I am home earlier tomorrow I may let them out for a short while, but I didn’t get back until 7 tonight, it was too late and too dark.

I was soooooo tempted last night to be evil. It shows just what a good person I am that I didn’t succumb.

What would you do? It is bed time. I go to the en-suite shower room. I use the toilet (and after, Ed puts his head down the loo, watching the water flush away, that boy has almost as much fascination with toilets as his dad!). I am cleaning my teeth, and KK walks in. She brushes against my legs. She goes *into* the shower. She sniffs around some. Then she sits down. She looks at me. She is *so* asking me to put the water on, so she can have a drink (Mosh had told me she likes to do this in the sink, I can only assume that she also did it in the bath). She has obviously never come across a shower on it’s own before.

I even put my hand on the knob to turn the shower on. I was sooooo tempted.

But I didn’t. The poor cat would never trust me ever again, if I had put the (power) shower on, while she was sat right under it.

But oh how I would have laughed!

I will have a house full of bloggers this afternoon. Plus two pussy cats.

I suppose I’d better do some tidying up!

Had the strangest sexual dream last night.

It involved K, LELI’s boss, and LELI.

In my dream, K had split up from his heavily pregnant wife, and 2 days later I was shagging him. This was fairly graphical in my dream (why oh why don’t they all turn out like this?)

I became a pariah at work, and I had a big argument with LELI, who was shocked and ashamed I would do such a thing.

Then the dream jumped, and I was asleep ib bed, and awoken by the bed shaken. LELI was in bed beside me (and it didn’t seem odd that he was there) and was, well, *gratifying* himself. Only he was asleep.

The next morning I had to pretend I didn’t know what he had been doing.

I wonder what that all means…….

I have agreed to join in a ‘team charity’ thing at work.

I like swimming. I need to do something to keep fit. I thought it would be a good idea.

However, between 9 of us, I have apparently signed up to swimming the English Channel.

Five times.

Okay, that is spread out over 13 weeks. And between 9 of us.

But that’s a lot of swimming.

I start Monday morning.

Anyone willing to sponsor me, all monies will be gratefully received.

Despite already having over 60 bottles of wine in the house, I have just ordered another 24 bottles of wine.

Mmmmmm.

We all got told our bonus today. I am sure last year it was communicated in a one to one meeting with the boss.

This year, however, it was the big boss running around the office like a mad thing just handing letters out to people as he got to them from the big pile in his arms. I got mine earlier than the rest of the team, because I was on the other side of the office talking to A when the big boss was over that side handing out the letters there.

It was a big number.

Rough calculation in my head, and it’s over the 10% I thought I might get.

When I am back over my side of the office, ONB comes up to me as I am getting some water. I tell him the bonus appears to be over 10%, and he looks well pleased.

About 10 minutes later, and he is not looking quite so pleased, although he is trying hard to not make it show.

It appears he has got just less than 10%.

This is so wrong. He had a much better year than me (even it was actually only 5 months), he should have received more than I did. Only part of the bonus is linked to personal achievement, the biggest part being linked to the company results, but as it’s all based on percentages, he should still have got more than me.

I spoke to L, our old boss. She said it was probably some basic bonus they just give to all people who joined within the year. So his personal review for this year has essentially counted for nothing for him. I didn’t even have any say in what grading he got, he was just given the same as every one else who joined in the year, and it seems to be the same for the bonus.

What a crappy, crappy system.

Still, I do have a big number to look forward to in my pay packet the end of this month. Even if it won’t be there for long as it has to pay off my credit card.