Fucking life.
Just when everything is going hunky dory, life just comes along and, well, not exactly kicks you in the teeth, but certainly throws enough at you to knock you off your stride.
Ten years ago, I went through the humiliating trauma of being told I couldn’t have children, not without some sort of artificial help anyway. My hormone levels were all ovr the place, and without drugs were probably not high enough for me to be ovlulating.
Without the help of a loving husband (waste of fucking space he was at the time), I eventually came to terms with that.
Just over 5 years ago, i went through a bout of bleeding between my periods - in fact for 3 months I had about 4 days where I didn’t bleed, 5 days of full on heaviest periods I’d ever had, 22 days of light bleeding, 1 day off. I had just moved to America, and my marriage was completely and utterly on the rocks, so after a couple of smear tests, the doctors decided it was stress. Given that the bleeding stopped the minute the husband left, this was probably right.
About 18 months ago, it started again. Not as bad this time - maybe 3 days mid-month with some slight spotting, but enough for me to have to buy tampons when I was in Portugal last summer (that was fun, not speaking the language trying to explain what I needed as they didn’t have them out on the shelves, they were kept in the back for some odd reason). And for it to mar slightly my trip to Australia.
I went to the doctors a few months ago, and I don’t know why - denial maybe? - but rather than go through the private healthcare I get through work, I went through the ‘wait on the list, you get seen when it’s your turn’ process of the NHS.
Two weeks ago I went to see the specialist, who explained that it could still be hormonal, but that he wanted to do a scan to make sure it wasn’t anything more serious. He booked me an appointment at his training clinic for after my next period.
Appointment was today.
Good news - there is nothing wrong. Everything down there looks healthy.
Did they say good news?
Too fucking right they did.
They can see I am ovulating.
But I’m not supposed to be ovulating, my hormones don’t work right.
Did they get it worng last time? But they can’t have, because after years of unprotected sex with the ex, there was no pregnancy. I was so relieved there was nothing serious, that the implications didn’t hit me until I was on the way home.
I guess it means a trip back to the doctors to discuss it.
It’s thrown me though. I really don’t understand any of it.
Oh, and to stop the bleeding? They suggest I go on the pill.