Will it ever get any better?
Maybe it has, but I just can’t tell. I guess it must have.
Just watched a documentary on Channel 4 about what is known as 9/11. I cried. Not sobbing, but I cried repeatedly.
Watching the planes hit makes me cry. Watching the towers fall makes me cry. Hearing the thuds of people hitting the ground, and wondering just how desperate you have to be to jump makes me cry. Seeing the firemen talk about it makes me cry.
It’s almost 6 years.
I guess I don’t cry about it as much as I did 6 years ago, so maybe it has got a little better.
It’s weird, because when I lived there, I didn’t cry. I could walk past the hole, and while it *always* made me feel sombre, it never made me cry. Even when I visit now, and travel through the Path station that - apparently - is exactly as it was post the towers falling, but without the towers above it, I feel sad, but it is just a part of life.
When I was in Australia, it was the bridge’s centenary. They had a big celebration, and thousands of people walked across it. SE and I didn’t because you needed tickets, and of course neither of us were that organised. We hung out with all the people a little, then went to Manly for a couple of hours.
On the ferry back, I looked up and saw a plane. A plane that, even though I’d only been there a few days, I knew was where no plane flight path should be.
And it was low. Very low.
And heading for the bridge.
I turned to look at SE, who was looking the other way. I nudged him, and quietly said, “That plane’s awfully low don’t you think?”
He looked. “And this isn’t a flight path.”
It was remarkable how calm we both were. He looked at me, and I can only guess that my face had a similar look of horror and fear on it. We both looked up at the plane as it flew overhead.
“It’s Quantas,” SE said.
And it flew over the bridge - no doubt some sort of fly past, to honour the centenary.
But for just those few seconds, my heart stopped. I think SE’s did too.