Took him for what should be the final vets visit yesterday, to have the stitches out.

Bless him, he is so weel behaved, and good natured, that he barely murmured as the vet was taking them out. However, this led to some concern by the vet, since it might have been an indication that he didn’t have much feeling.

Until the poor thing let out an almighty yowl, almost as he was finished, and tried to crawl inside my coat.

“That’s a very good sign,” says the vet. “Leave his collar on for 24 hours, and that should be that.”

I came home tonight, and took the collar off him. Gave him lots of fuss, as he was purring away enjoying having his ears scratched, and giving them a wash himself.

I then see to the litter tray, sort out food for him and Madam, then come upstairs to check email.

I hear one of them running around like a looney, and Mister appears on the desk next to me. I take a look at his tail.

The end is covered in blood.

Idiot cat seems to have bitten the end again.

I have put the collar back on, and he is now sitting quietly next to me, but I have a very bad feeling.

The vet did warn me that is he still continued to worry at his tail, then the only option was to take the tail almost completely, leaving him with just a stump.

I am away tomorrow night on business, so I’ll see what he’s like when I come back on Thursday, but I fear we are not at the end of the road yet, poor thing.

But you know what? How can anyone ever be cruel to animals? For the past few weeks, I have bundled him up into his box and taken him to the ‘nasty place’ 5 times, I won’t let him go outside to the extent that he now doesn’t even make a break for it, just looks at me longingly as I leave by the front door, I have forced tablets down his throat twice a day for 2 weeks, made him wear a stupid collar for 3 weeks, and had part of his tail chopped off. And this little guy still sits as close to me as he can, rests his head on my shoulder so he can gaze lovingly into my eyes. That is total, inconditional love.

Right now I couldn’t give a toss about a fire.

The battery needs changing on my smoke alarm - but strangely it is connected to the mains, and to change the battery I have to switch the mains off. What part of it is almost midnight do these fuckwits who design these things not understand? I have spent half an hour trying to read the instructions, written in smallish writing, which itself is bad enough, but it is red on white - really straining my eyes. There is no way I can switch off the mains, and disconnect this thing, I just can’t see well enough to do it.

Plus, if it’s connected to the mains, how come it has a battery? I don’t get it? It’s not like it’s a back up - apparently the thing won’t work if the mains is off - so why is it connected to the mains in the first place? Tonight is not going to be fun…..

Took Mister back again tonight. He was so good in there - the vet took his bandage off, and he hardly murmured. In fact the only time he did whinge, was when the vet pinched the end of his tail to make sure there was feeling there.

He said it was healing nicely, to keep the collar on him, and bring him back in a week for the stitches out.

Brought him home.

Within 10 minutes he’s running round like a mad thing. I assume it’s because his tail looks like a rats tail now, and must feel decidedly odd. He was jumping around on the sofa.

My nice, cream coloured sofa.

Then I notice the marks……….

Not sure what the little bugger has done, but it’s bleeding!

It wasn’t bleeding much, but he had obviously scratched it, and it was irritating him. Eventually got it to stop, by cuddling him tight, and holding the tail in kitchen paper.

We had a few fights though, so in the end I wrapped him up tightly in a huge bath towel, and held him like that for about an hour and a half. Bless him, he had a few half hearted struggles, but mostly just settled down for the big cuddle - I think he felt safe in there.

He is lying quietly on the bed now, hopefully will stay that way, else it’s back to the vets in the morning!

He was very sleepy last night (but the drunkeness had worn off by the time I got him home). Madam wasn’t quite so scared of him - probably because he had that vet smell all over him. He’s managed to steal most of the bed overnight, and this morning he is looking a lot perkier. He is trying to lick his tail, and just licking the stupid collar, but he’s not distressed about it - he’s the happiest I’ve seen him for weeks! It doesn’t look like they have taken much off his tail at all, so maybe they just took off the dead bit.

Got to take him back next week for a ‘wound check’, then hopefully he’ll be able to go outside - when he got home, even though asleep on his feet he ran to the back door and cried to be let out, poor little bugger!

Well, vets trip last week wasn’t too bad - some cortizone tablets, half a tablet twice a day for 5 days. Apparently, he had suffered some sort of ‘tail trauma’, and had lost some feeling in his tail, which was why he was acting a bit weird, as if it wasn’t his own.

All was well. Well, reasonably well. Giving a cat tablets is always a nightmare - doubly so whe when you try and do it on your own. Trebly so when you are extremely hung over (Saturday morning - I have scratches all down my hand, stomach, and legs…..). But he definitely seemed to be getting better.

Then last night, after yet another shitty day at work, and wanting nothing more than to chill at home, I come back to find him worse than ever. the poor little bugger is growling at his tail, then pouncing on it and chewing it. Only trouble is, it’s hurting him, so chewing is making him cry.

I spent most of the night trying to help him find a comfortably position, and trying to stop him from chewing it and making it worse. He couldn’t sit for more than about 30 seconds, and at one point was actually trying to crawl *inside* my stomach, burying to get away from his tail, crying and whimpering all the time. It was horrible, because there was nothing I could do to stop the pain. I felt so helpless.

So back to the vets tonight.

Different vet tonight - they must take it in turns - and he thinks that he might have broken the tip of the tail. the rest of it seems to be fine, as he is moving it okay. But the tip has started to gangrenous.

The end of his tail needs to be amputated. He thinks possibly jus an inch, but maybe more, it will depend what they find when they shave it off and get to have a proper look.

He now has a collar on - because it’s his tail, they have had to give him a small dog collar rather than the usual cat collar, because they are bigger. Of course, I didn’t get even half way up the road before he’d pulled it off, so I had to go back to have it put back on, only tighter this time.

It hasn’t come off yet.

I shouldn’t laugh, but he is so funny, watching him walking into things, walking backwards shaking his head as if all he has to do is pull his head backwards.

He is so clingy. All he wants is to be cuddled. I don’t think he’s slept for the last week, and at least the collar is giving him some respite from his tail - he can’t see it, so it’s not ‘creeping up on him’ and making him jump, and even when he feels it he can’t do anything about it.

Monday he is booked in. Of course, this is possibly the worst week in the history of my job there for me to take time off - I left early tonight, but the next two days I am running a course which I have been banging on about to the business for months. There is no way I can’t turn up.

I also have some more tablets which will help him with the tail, but I have no idea how I am going to get them down him with this collar on. I can’t exactly hold the back of his head with that thing on him, making it much easier to chomp down on my fingers when I open his mouth!

Updates will follow, if I have any fingers left with which to type!

Come on, it’s open house, I am officially today’s punch bag, so come on, take your jag.

Holiday is but a distant memory after today - I’ve lost count of the number of people who have had a go at me today, what a shitty day.

I didn’t bother with the aerobics, came home for a nice bottle of wine and a blow your head off curry. Both have been polished off, so now I am on chocolate and some almond liqueur I bought back from hols - it’s not half bad, tastes like marzipan.

My cat is freaking me out big time. He is petrified of his tail. Not just chasing it as in normal stupid cats game, this little guy is terrified. I have him booked into the vets tomorrow, and in the meantime I am trying to catch him, and when he settles hiding his eyes from his tail - he is fine until he sees it, when he just ups and jumps and runs away, trying to hide from it. I don’t think he’s slept since the day before yesterday, poor little sausage!