I have been offered the second job. I have this offer in writing - albeit an email.

However.

It is a full £10,000 lower salary than I am on now.

That is a huge drop, and will make a big difference to my life. It’s not like I can’t live off it - clearly the salary is plenty to live off - but to compare it with what I have now, I am just not going to sustain this lifestyle.

Also, compare that to what I am expecting from the other offer - which is in the region of a £4,000 increase compared to what I am on now, then it is a big difference.

I expect my outgoings will be lower with the new job, as there will be such a lot of travel, so things like food will be covered on expenses, plus I guess utility bills for home will be lower.

But still…..

I will ring them on Monday, see if we can negotiate. I think if it was even £5,000 lower I wouldn’t be so reticent, but what they have offered me is, well, just too damn low.

I was so excited when I saw the email. And now feel quite flat.

Not mine, for once.

W took great delight in telling me her dream of the night before last.

She and I were invited to the monthly Executives meeting to present something (this is actually possible, and we had been talking about it with our boss a few days before). We got in there, and they, of course, were being a bunch of arses, so apparently I stood up and shouted, “Fuck the lot of you, I’m off to join (insert software company name here, not quite the one I had the interview with Monday, but as close as can be)” and walked out.

Apparently there was stunned silence, and then our boss was trying to ring me, but W kept telling him it was a waste of time, I really had gone.

Maybe I have not been so good at hiding my intentions after all!

The job I am not so keen on getting, but is 15 minutes from my house is mine if I want it.

Luckily, their HR bod is on holiday until 28th December now, so I have no specifics about the job, the main question of which is how much money are they offering. They are actually part of the company I used to work for before this one, so I know pretty much what the benefits are - I think some are slightly different, but they are pretty much the same as all the other companies in this industry.

However, they can’t expect me to give them an answer with nothing concrete on the table, and nothing in writing.

And I am going to be out of the country when their HR bod is back, and not back home until 7th January next year, giving me some time to think it over.

I was hoping to hear today about the interview I had on Monday, but I should be patient I suppose, he did say the end of the week and that still leaves tomorrow.

That is the job I really want, although I know the benefits there are not going to be anywhere near as good, because the company is so small. I don’t know for definite, but I am guessing no company car (even though it will involve a lot of travel, I just can’t see them getting any deal worthwhile for so few people, I may be wrong), no discounted mortgage, no healthcare, none of the ’special offers’ that are available from working for a large corporation (silly things like 10% off Dominos pizza, cheap cosmetics off a certain website, 5% discount on Comet vouchers, etc), probably not such a good pension scheme.

I think the two that will bother me the most are the mortgage and the pension.

Did I say that out loud? God I am getting old!

It seemed to go very well today. It was pretty informal, and the only thing that could count against me is that I haven’t used to latest version of the software (my company is still using the last version, even though it is heading out of support), but he said that it would be easy to highlight the new features, especially as part of their remit is doing training courses!

He had asked me to bring some of my code, but I couldn’t find anything I had written recently, since my job has now changed, so I took along some bad code from other departments that I had rewritten to be more efficient. He seemed extra pleased with that, says that is a big part of the job, so brownie points to me on that one.

Also, I took along the scores I got when I took the software exam back at the beginning of November. It had the breakdown, including the one section where I didn’t do so well (if 64% is not doing well, anyway). Apparently he got very similar scores to me, so that is probably another thing in my favour.

He then took me on a brief tour of the offices, trying to introduce me to the MD, but he wasn’t around.

Anyway, I should know by the end of the week - I hope so, because if I can’t hand my notice in this week it is going to be the middle of January before I can, and I really want to get it over and done with (not only because I told LELI I would hand on my notice before Christmas, and he didn’t believe me - a girl has to prove a point!).

Bugger me but it’s cold!

My boy at work made this of him, me, and W. I think B wasn’t included simply because she doesn’t have her picture readily available online.

I have just had to pick myself up off the floor.

What is it all about?

When anyone asks me what type of man I like, I will always reply, “Big hairy biker type, no beard, long hair, lots of leather and black denim.”

But the reality is I have only ever been out with one biker boy. All the other men have been so varied and different, that I can’t honestly say I have a ‘type’.

So my theory, and I guess this is backed up by the dodgy scientists who send the spam email, is that it’s all down to smell.

The first thing I do when I enter the bedroom after a man has gone is smell the pillow. Am I weird? Does anyone else do that? And I love sleeping ‘his’ side of the bed, because I can still smell him for a few days after he has gone.

Seems my tart of a cat feels the same way. Normally she lies either on one of the blankets on the bed, put there for that very purpose, or if she decides she wants to put her muddy paws on the duvet cover, she will lie at the bottom, where she would normally lie between my feet if I was in bed.

But the last few days I have caught her lying almost on the pillow, and she whinges like anything when I try to move her.

I enjoyed the dancing so much the other night that I can’t stop listening to my cheesy 80’s hits.

Yay for Howard Jones (like to get to know you well) and ABC (shoot that poison arrow) and Fine Young Cannibals (ever fallen in love) and Erasure (ooh, sometimes) and Human League (I want your love action) and The Cure (let’s go to bed) and Depeche Mode (mmmm, I just can’t get enough) and Jimmy Somerville (enough is enough is enough).

I really ought to go to bed, interview tomorrow (and I can’t remember what time it is - 10 o’clock I think. I hope!).

I am astonished how many people know me from work. And how many of them I don’t have a fucking clue who they are!

Company didn’t exactly push the boat out this year - ‘exclusive’ use of one of the cities ‘top clubs’ between the hours of 6pm and 10pm. Because, obviously, everyone and their dog are trying to get into this club at 6 o’clock on a Friday night!

To be fair, it was better than I thought it would be, although given how dire I expected it to be, that doesn’t say much.

It was selling itself as fabulous because it has 7 different rooms, all with different vibes. Only two of them were open. Then they opened another one, which had the buffet food in it.

Of course, the buffet room was the one I really wanted to dance in - this was the ‘disco’ room, so not playing the shite in the other two rooms, but cheesey music from the 70’s and 80’s. Of course, this didn’t open until after 10.

However, for the next two and a half hours, my friend who does the massages in work and I just danced our pants off! Well, not literally, but hell it was fun.

My feet are killing me now.

Boys - take note. The following are NOT good methods of chatting up women -

1. smacking a woman on her arse, and then when she turns round, grabbing her tit
2. taking her drink from her hand, sipping it, then trying to shove your tongue down her throat, without saying a word to her

I suppose it’s better than Valley’s boys pretending to be French.

Okay. Boss has now negotiated that they pay for the conference and the hotel, but I will have to pay for the flight and other travel expenses. And food probably, although some food is included as part of the conference. I will also not need to take off any holiday for it.

It’s not all of it, which is what they should be paying. But it’s more than half way.

However, they aren’t going to pay for W. They will, however, pay almost £3,000 for her to go n a week long course in this software, something which I could teach her (if I didn’t leave, obviously), and she would get so much more from the conference.

I cancelled the interview with the London consultants which was scheduled for lunch time yesterday. However, I have been contacted yesterday by the company I actually went to last week, and I have an interview with them on 17th. If they were to offer me a job, it would be a very difficult decision, since they are a very good company to work for, and it would be a very interesting job.

I also had a telephone interview last night for another consulting firm. These are based in Yorjshire, but are more than happy for me to work from home so I wouldn’t have to move, since a lot of the time I am going to be at client site anyway. He is getting back to me with a date for a face to face interview, but it’s not going to be until the new year now.

The interview next Monday I am confident will lead to a job offer. However, I am not sure it’s a job I really want.

God, such big decisions to make!