My mom’s found another lump.

Doctor says it’s nothing to worry about, probably a strain. But they’ve got her in for a scan bloody quick.

Sometimes it’s me that needs the hug.

It’s me that needs looking after.

It’s me that wants someone to ask me how I am doing.

Is that too much to ask?

….life used to be interesting!

Now the biggest decision I have to make is what colour laminate flooring to put down in the hall. And whether I can afford to have the upstairs bathrooms done at the same time or not.

The merena is getting me down a bit, haven’t stopped bleeding since it was put in. Not big time, but it has been constant. I have bought some vitamin tablets with iron, see if that will help cheer me up.

FKM is still doing my head in. I believe the “go with the flow” with his ex has gone completely down the rivver (fairly quickly in fact) but he hasn’t told me a thing. However, there has been a distinct lack in mention of her. His friend’s funeral is today, so he’s also very cut up about that. He still does my head in though. I can handle being friends with him - but for god’s sake, stop the one night a week or so big time flirting!

Oh, another ‘exciting’ thing, I am getting Sky+, and also switching broadband. Finally getting wireless - maybe I should get something other than my phone to connect to it?

Some fab bands - most memorable were Kiss, Disturbed, Apocalyptica, Bullet for my Valentine. Ash were okay, but the sound on the Tuborg stage was a bag of shite! Nephew loved it, although was far too well behaved - never went to the mosh pit once!

Not so good was the news from FKM (who was on a jolly boy’s outing to Amsterdam….) that one of his best friends - who he has been saying for ages he is worried he is going to drink himself to death - died. Amsterdam is not the place to be to hear that sort of news - far too easy to just up and follow him!

Although he didn’t - got one text from him to say he was back, and heading to the local to “share some memories…”. Not heard from him since, so I am guessing by now there is not much remembering going on…..

I am off to spend the weekend with lots of hairy, biker men, and some *very* loud music.

Oh, and my nephew.

I have just spoken to him for the first time in weeks! Yay!

He is nothappy in his job. Boo! and Yay! at the same time. Boo because he is not happy, Yay because it means he will come back!

For ages we’ve been talking about going to the computer museum, having read that it is closing some time soon - possibly July. That was the original plan two weeks ago. Having checked their website, and there being no date on it, I emailed him earlier in the week to suggest going this weekend, as we are both busy next weekend, and it is getting very close to their closing date. Got no definitive response other than “I might have to work….”

Friday night, about 9.30 I get a text, “Want to go to the museum tomorrow?” Talk about last minute! I suggest to him that to allow me more time in bed, he should come to mine (spare bed is made up - I am NOT making that mistake again), but he comes up with bullshitty excuses. I know he is not with his ex (current?) but out in town, and then he heads back to his local. I keep getting texts saying he needs to sleep, every half hour or so, obviously staying in the pub drinking more and more. “Get some sleep - if you are not there when I come and pick you up at 7, I will not be happy.”

The alarm goes off at 6. By this time it was wasted, since I have been awake since 5. “You better have come up with a better reason for not staying at mine by the time I come and pick you up” I text him. He didn’t.

He did, however, try to take the piss at me being so grumpy. Not for long though -he’s a fast learner! I don’t *do* early mornings at the best of times, but when I haven’t had much sleep, and I could have had an extra hour had he been sober enough to realise that actually, he *is* resistable.

Normally I don’t speed - well, much - but even he kept muttering “You’re going a bit fast aren’t you?” Growl. Quiet.

“Can we stop at the service station, so I can have a wee and a fag and a coffee?” I pull off, but completely miss the sign for parking - opportunity for more piss taking.

But at least he then offered to drive the rest of the way - suits me!

We got to the museum 20 minutes early, thankfully it was sunny, so just sat and enjoyed the sun until it opened.

And it was good. It was small, but he was like a kid let loose in a sweet shop, and that happiness is so infectious! Super Mario and Pong were played, as was tennis on the Wii. Lots of pictures of computers - zx80, zx81, zx spectrum, commodore 64 (the particular computer that was making FKM wriggle in his jeans!), some fantastic ‘portable’ computers that look like they weighed a ton!

And luckily we got there just in time. This is their last week of opening, and they were in the process of packing up the stuff out the back, prior to packaging up all the display stuff.

We were done in a couple of hours, and so headed actually into the town, just to have a nose.

In some ways he is almost the perfect man. “Oh look, there’s a craft shop, want to go and have a look inside?” I look at him sideways, “You do realise I will be in there for some time?” He smiled, “Yeah, I guessed you would.” So I did. And he didn’t complain. *sigh*

Between us we spent a fair bit on cd’s and dvd’s although there was some ‘discussion’ about what to play in the car on the way back. As he was doing the first bit of driving, he won that argument. God. I can’t remember what it was called, but it was shitty awful drum and base rave music! I think I stood it for about half an hour - for which I deserve a medal - and eventually he realised, “You really hate this don’t you?” We stopped at a pub by a river part way home (having decided to take the scenic route), after which I took over the driving. And the music.

“This is just all guitars and shouting.”

“At least you can tell when one song ends, and another starts. And they don’t all sound the same!”

I dropped him off in town to go meet his friend for his “Saturday evening ritual” or beer and male bonding I think, I didn’t ask.

It was such a good day. I am his new best friend because I found him a boxed set of all the Planet of the Apes films on sale for £10! He might be an arsehole, but at the same time he is a nice guy, and we do have a lot in common and do get on. His loss!

Then I went to a friends for dinner last night, drank too much wine, not long got home!

Very weird day, because every little twinge inside has had me thinking “Is there a problem?” I always suffer really bad period pains, and they come in waves, so how on earth can I tell if it’s a ‘normal’ wave of pain, or the pinching I can feel is something wrong with the device?

I guess time will tell. It’s not unbearable (well, only for very short periods of time).

And maybe it’s wishful thinking, but already I think I can tell a difference. Bring on the lack of periods, I say. Bring it on!

I got up early, so I could leave work early, and head off to the hospital. I guess the appointment could have been worse - it could have been for yesterday - but not much worse.

I got there right on time, then sat in the waiting room for an hour.

“I’m so sorry,” said the doctor, “But your notes went missing, then we could have seen you half an hour ago but someone else managed to sneak in front of you.”

This doesn’t instill me with a lot of confidence.

Oh, how humiliating.

“Do you have a partner at the moment?”

“No.”

“Oh, so when was the last time you had sexual relations?”

I so wanted to scream “None of your bloody business,” but of course, it was her business.

“A week,” I squeeked. I then found myself going on to justify it. Why, in this day and age should I feel I have to justify myself - I’m not a slag really, honest doctor…….

But, it’s all done now. Lot of pain - actually had me shouting out at one point, which I’ve never done before, lot of mess, but hopefully that’s now all sorted for 5 years.

Amendment: Whoops, just reread the post, and realised I didn’t make it clear quite why I was there….. was having the Merena coil fitted after the last disastrous attempt at my local surgery. So, unpleasant, yes, but not *nasty* nasty!

I knew watching so much sci-fi in such a short space of time would screw up my sleep.

It took ages for me to get to sleep, mind was so busy.

And then this morning was very annoyed to be woken by my alarm clock, as I was in the middle of a fab dream. I can’t remember all the start, but I was in this corrodor type place, with some people, and there was one woman who wasn’t talking to me, went into this room and slammed the door. Steve Macdonald from Corrie was there, and we were talking about what we could do about the problem when we heard this wonderful noise.

We ran to the roof, and obviously the Tardis came spinning out of nowhere, and landed next to us. We waited for Dr Who to come out, but he didn’t, so Steve smashed his head through it, and it turned into some sort of black and white telly, and he was in it, and beckoned me to follow so we could go and save the Doctor. I was halfway through the screen, when my bloody alarm went off.

How annoying!

And Happy Birthday to me!