One of the contractors came over to me at lunch time.

“We are having problems updating things - we get all the way through, but right at the end we are getting a strange error message, something about permissions. I checked the permissions and they all looked fine,so I googled the message. It suggested one of the updates hasn’t been added. But I know that it has - you did it for us last month. I then went in to check what updates actually have been added, and it is saying there are none added. None at all.”

I look at him with horror. We double check it, and yes, he is right, the software believes there are no updates. I know I added 3 at the end of July, and it was all working fine then.

“And also, the ‘update’ directory isn’t there, it appears to have disappeared.”

Ohhhhhh shit.

I compare it with a working server. It’s not just the one directory, it has several sub-directories, and many files underneath that.

All gone.

“You installed that extra component the other day, would that have deleted it?”

“No. No way would adding something like that cause this sort of mayhem, not with the vendors knowing about it and sending out major warnings. Stupid Bitch spoke to them before we did the install, they’d have warned us if there was likely to be any problems.” I said this confidently, but not entirely sure that if the software company had told her she’d have either told me about it, or taken any notice of it.

I do, however, remember her talking about seeing processes pointing to the update folder when I was off sick two weeks ago, and she was having, “Such problems,” dealing with the normal shit I deal with every day.

I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. She wouldn’t have. Would she?

At this point she turns up, and I give her the gist of the problem.

“Oh yes, the update directory, that’s the place where we download the update files to and just run them from there isn’t it?”

“No. We download the files to the temporary directory, I am not entirely sure how the software processes them,” I said, with the certain knowledge that come the end of the week I am going to know intimately the process, “but I am guessing it adds files and updates files within this ‘update’ directory.”

“No,” she said, with absolute certainty, “The update directory is just for temporary files. Anyway, I am off now, I have the afternoon off, bye.” And she fucked off.

I have spent the afternoon trying to sort this problem out. Hoping that all I need to do is just reinstall the updates. But to do so I have to boot off all the users of the server, and there are many. I am casually saying, “I have no idea what happened, the directory has disappeared, we’re not sure when, or how….”

One of the users hot the nail on the head. “There are only two users who would have access to that, the installation user, which is you or Stupid Bitch, or root.” Hmmmm, yes, I know.

I still don’t know for definite, but luckily I took screen shots of everything before I even attempted any changes (to send to my company for advice, not necessarily to finger point at anyone), and it appears the parent directory was last amended late afternoon of the day I was off sick………

After trying everything, I am now looking to restore the whole thing from a backup. This will prove for definite exactly when it was deleted.

What has really pissed me off though is she must have known she had deleted it, before she buggered off home. I have spent several hours this afternoon trying to ‘figure out’ what happened, proving it to the ups when things were changed, what was added when. If she had just held her hand up we could at least say, “Hey, it was a mistake, let’s get it sorted and then figure out how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Instead, I am having to investigate dead end avenues, to show that it couldn’t possibly have happened that way.

She is fucking dangerous.

Again, really had to force myself out yesterday. But go I did. Still just once round the park - but my theory is that 30 minutes is better than 0 minutes! Managed to run for just over 4 minutes - legs still heavy, but definitely not as heavy as they were last week.

Didn’t go out today, because had to go to the homebase, and got up at stupid o’clock to drive there, and didn’t get back until almost 7.

So, tomorrow it will be!

Funny story - I try not to mention Krazy K on here, because I think she is not just crazy, I genuinely think she has a problem.

However, this is just too damn hilarious not to share. Saturday night I went round there, because her husband was away for the night, and she wanted some female company. Another friend was also going round. I thought it would be nice to make some houmous, and took it round with a big bag of tortilla chips.

However, when we came to eat it it was a little bit too stiff - the chips were breaking in it. “What can we add to make it thinner,” she asked? “Will water do it?” Both L and I suggested maybe olive oil, and we tried it in a bit but it made it to strong tasting.

“How about lemon juice,” said L, “do you have any?”

There was a pause.

“I’ve got some orange squash?”

Again, I really had to force myself out tonight. I haven’t signed up for another race - just been too many things wrong with me to commit to it - but I wish I had done now, because at least then there is a bit more motivation.

But, I decided that all I was doing was sitting either in front of the pc, or in front of a dvd, and it was only half an hour or so, so I got changed and went out.

I am definitely walking faster. But the running was harder tonight. I did just about manage the same as last night, but my legs felt very, very heavy. I might just go for a walk tomorrow, have a bit of a rest.

I haven’t stretched properly either. As I was approaching my house, this brand new Ford Fiesta starts beeping its horn at me, and I can see someone behind the wheel waving. It was my friend L! She also lives in Big Jugs, and her sister lives in one of the cul-de-sacs off my road.

She has just bought a new car - only picked it up yesterday - and took me for a brief spin around the block. Then she came in, and we had a good old gossip about work, and the new structure at the old pace I used to work at.

It was really good to see her, but it meant I didn’t cool down properly, and also I didn’t eat my dinner until late, I was starving!

Still, I am stepping in the right direction. I just need to keep it up.

I finally got off my fat arse again.

Actually, a couple of weeks ago I decided I needed to get back on my feet, and one weekend afternoon I went for a walk around the park. And then didn’t go out again.

Last Thursday I cricked my back. No idea how I did it - just walking across the office to see a collague. I suspect it’s the boots I’ve been wearing. They have been hurting my toe a lot less, but I knew I wasn’t walking right in them. And last week showed just how bad. Friday I could hardly move - sat at my desk I was ok, stood up I could just about manage, but the bits in between were agony. I was like an old woman.

It did get slowly better, and yesterday was just a dull ache in the lower left hand side.

So, last night I went out around the park. I just walked. I thought it would be a lot slower than I was doing before, but I left the house, and was back in the front door in 30 minutes. So the back didn’t slow me up one bit.

And tonight. I really didn’t want to go. I was putting it off. Had to check emails. Had to text D. Had to text L. Anything.

Eventually I forced myself to get changed, and went out.

And I am glad I did. It wasn’t brilliant. But it wasn’t bad either. I walked to the park in reasonable time, and then switched to my 2 and 3 minute playlist. And started to run. I actually managed a minute and a half, which is very good, that is what I did the last time I went out running. I was very out of breath though. And the next two runs I only managed a minute. But I was going further in that time - I got to know the places I used to run, and would gauge it by that as much as by the music. But tonight I was much further along the path for each run. So much so that for the last run the 3 minute song had only just begun.

And I feel very pleased with myself. I did 4 and a half minutes of running, once around the lake. I might aim for twice around the lake next time (tomorrow?).

She is totally doing my head in.

She is completely useless.

However, I think it has been noticed that she is not up to the standard that she should be…. The woman who sits behind me has had a few, shall we say ‘paddies’ over her recently, and I am finding it very difficult keeping my mouth shut.

Like most places, there is a computer based system for all calls to IT. Stupid Bitch, in her wisdom, has decided that I don’t need access to this system. Even though people raise calls to our team for it. Even though she only works part time. Instead, A, who works for the woman behind me is supposed to keep an eye out for calls and print them off and pass them to me. M (the woman) called me over a couple of weeks ago, concerning a call which was now flagged as red because it had been sat in the queue so long.

“I don’t see why you can’t have access to this system,” she ranted.

“You’ll get no argument from me on that, M,” I replied, “but I have asked Stupid Bitch and she keeps saying there’s no need. I need her approval to get access.”

“That’s because she’s a lazy bitch who can’t be bothered to do any work, and expects other people to bail her out,” spits M.

I was oh so close to responding, “You’ll get no argument from me on that, M,” but decided it would be prudent to keep my mouth shut.

So, I have been speaking to agencies about jobs. There’[s not a whole load around at the moment, but I am hopeful that things will start to move now, especially as I know a lot of the bank restructures have now been completed.

I also want to book a holiday. But that’s another thing to make me mad - last week when I was at homebase, I spoke to the bloke who provides cover for me when I am off, asked if he had any holidays planned. I told him I had seen a holiday I fancied booking. He said he had nothing planned, so I said I’d look into my holiday over the weekend.

Friday, we were on the phone and he just happened to mention in passing that he had now booked all of his 15 days holiday he had left, because fitting them in was going to be difficult, and casually questioned when I was thinking of taking mine, because there wasn’t that much space left on the planner.

Bastard!

…that have a ‘contact us’ page, and then don’t give an email address.

I am thinking of booking a holiday. I quite fancy going to Goa. I have found what I thought was a great website, with some great cheap hotels, and I then tried to look at flights.

I even got impressed when it seemed pretty clever, in that after choosing your destination, it only offered 4 airports - from where I assume you can fly direct.

On choosing different airports, different dates were then offered.

Great, you don’t have to play the ‘guess which day the planes flies out on’ game most holiday sites seem to play.

Except it doesn’t seem to have any flights available. Or it might, but after trying 6 of the dates I was offered, and none of them giving me a flight (with a particularly irritating, “Whoops! There doesn’t appear to be any flights that day, please choose another by pressing the back button” message).

So I thought I’d email them and ask them.

Only I can’t. I can ring them during office hours. Or I can write to them in Kingston-on-Thames.

But email? Who would ever want that new-fangled communication whatchamacallit, especially when trying to book a holiday online?

Ashes to Ashes. Chris, looking out while young prostitute killed in bathroom. Knew that it was telly, but in my head couldn’t figure out how, because I have dvd of first series, and got second on sky+, and I knew I’d not seen it before.

Checking bank account online - but in a street? Big shop, next to cards, wrong place, went outside, junction with 5 roads. One road had lots of food places, that’s where I went. Credit card had a £26,000 debit on it, I was concerned.

Had ordered food (didn’t dream that bit), and went for a poo in - kebab shop? Problem with toilet paper, finger went through it, got poo under nail. Couldn’t wash hands.

Went back to police station. Still didn’t wash hands. Was pulling the rind off bacon, and I knew it was bad because there was poo under my nails.

I love my head. It’s so vivid (helped by having a cold and so a high temperature).

I’ve got a cold, so didn’t sleep well Friday night. As a result I ended up sleeping most of yesterday afternoon.

So come bedtime and I just can’t sleep.

I read for a couple of hours, then turned the light off. And just lay there, listening to the sounds of the world outside.

There’s a lot of cars travel along my road. Given it’s a cul-de-sac, this seems a bit odd. Okay, a lot of them were taxis, so you get them going and then coming back, but even so.

There was one sound that I found a bit odd. Just on the cusp of sleep, it sounded like a car getting closer, but more like a very loud milk float. Then I thought maybe it was a helicopter, because sometimes you can’t tell until they are very close. But lights swept across the room as it went past.

About 15 minutes later, it went past again. It was only after it had gone that I wished I’d got out of bed to have a look at what it actually was.

So, when I heard the ‘tap, tap, pause, tap’ of high heeled shoes, I decided to be nosey.

There was a woman walking from the roundabout, dressed all in white. She appeard to have some sort of white headband on. At first I thought she was wearing a long white dress (bride?) but as she got closer I could discern she was wearing white flared trousers. She was quite clearly drunk, hence the odd pause in her walk, where she lost her balance a bit.

Until she got right opposite my house, when she fell straight on her arse!

I hid behind the curtains, not wanting her to know I was laughing at her, then I felt guilty in case she’d hurt herself, but as I poked my head out, I heard the ‘tap, tap, pause, tap’ as she resumed her walk.

Hobo wasn’t home, and some time later I thought I heard him, so I went downstairs to call him in. No joy, so when I came back up (it’s about 3am now) I decided to switch on the computer, and see if I can waste a few more minutes.

I heard some shouting.

Oh boy, a very drunk couple. He was going mental. I couldn’t actually see them, but he was having a right go at her.

“You keep saying ‘Stefan I love you, Stefan I want to be with you’, and then you just spend all your time talking to your Halifax mates. I was outside, waiting for a taxi, and you were inside playing Twister.” Sounds like a sensible girl to me. “Shows what you think of me, blah, blah, blah,” he went on, “Well, this is the last you will see of me, goodbye.”

Pause.

“You won’t ever see me again. So don’t bother.”

Pause.

“I mean it, this is the very last you will ever see of me.”

At this point she spoke for the first time. In a Scottish accent.

“Do you think you could give me my phone back first?”

“No, you don’t need it, go on back to your Halifax mates, they will let you use their phone I am sure. You are never going to see me again.”

I have missed out a lot of the swearing - can’t even type the “C” word, it’s just so wrong!

I think I fell asleep around 5 o’clock.